Google’s recent acquisition of Boston Dynamics, a company that builds hunter-killer robots and is, yes, straight out of an eighties sci-fi flick, should stir more bafflement than, say, anxiety. After all, Google doesn’t do evil. (People who disagree, see here.) While one can imagine Google employing repurposed Robocops to kill terrorists (which would be cool, not evil), it seems that Google has other uses in mind. Remember: Google is after advertising revenue. While it dominates online, it most definitely does not offline. (There’s still an offline, apparently.) Really, what we should concern ourselves with isn’t Termination but robots that track our behavior in brick-and-mortar stores and shopping malls, robots like BD’s Petman that we can use for “free” (much like other Google products) by simply providing them with data about our non-virtual lives. Free robot shopping and delivery of groceries? Yes! (As long as Google knows all the groceries you bought and how much you paid for them.) Everything will soon be procurable via Google — and not only durable goods but things like pad Thai and human beings (family, friends and, in Nevada or Russia, escorts). Soon we will be choreographed in ways we never imagined. Yay! Google!